"You ran how far?" by Chris Dusack

Habakkuk 3:18-19:

The Lord God is my strength.
He makes me like a deer that does not stumble
so I can walk on the steep mountains.

Or in my case, run up and down them.

Today I dedicated my first marathon to my daughter Norah. If she could fight for her life in the ICU for ten days, I could surely run for 26+ miles! And in her case, her fight was especially difficult, so it was quite fitting that my first marathon would be off-road, up and down a beast of a mountain.

I’d run/walked/hiked about 64 miles in the past four months. Thirty of those miles were just in the past week. I also put down about 1,100 miles on the road and mountain bikes in the same four months, in addition to two hours per week of weights in the gym. Don’t think you need to complete a training programs for running a marathon. If you are decent shape, you can finish one.

I decided about six weeks ago to try a marathon, but did not want to do a traditional big city, paved route. If I was going to be out on foot for 26+ miles, I prefer to be up in the mountains and off the pavement. The Mystery Mountain Marathon (MMM) is held at Fort Mountain State Park, near Chatsworth GA and covers some of the steepest and rockiest trails I've ever seen. I had hiked, run or biked the entire course and therefore was familiar with the rugged terrain and challenges that awaited me.

Two of my friends, Brian and Naqi. decided to join me and we split a hotel the night before, just a few miles away from the start of the course.

After competing in many bike races over the past year, I was welcoming a race where I did not need to be concerned with the numerous mechanical impurities of an eight year old mountain bike. No pedals would snap off, no brake rotors would bend, no flat tires. Even though I was about to run almost double of my longest run, I was very calm. I only had to make sure I brought my shoes, music, watch and water bottle.

At about 6:30, the wake up call and cell phone alarms were blaring. We were soon awake, showered, dressed and ready. I had a banana, an egg, a bottled smoothie and some grapes to eat. There was plenty of food along the course and I did not want to be weighed down during the start of the run.

We got to the race with enough time to finish getting dressed, get our race numbers, and get our food and water ready. Soon enough we were off and running, MP3 music helping to fuel my efforts. I passed Naqi, but was not sure if Brian was ahead or behind me, so I ran a slightly quicker pace to possibly catch him. Looking back at about the half mile mark, I saw a runner slide, then fall into a shallow mud pit!

The race starts off with a flat relatively smooth mile around the lake, then quickly turns off and hits a steep drop off that puts you on a very rocky trail. I passed a few other runners here and noticed that Brian was behind me. Soon we had to cross a bridge and start ascending. The uphills are my specialty! I passed a few other runners, then fell into a nice pace with a small group. This portion of the trail is called Gahuti. Brigette and I had run most of this earlier on in the year, so I knew what to expect. The trail is very narrow, sometimes barely six inches wide. There are numerous rocks, roots, and drop-offs. Passing is very limited, but still possible. I was able to pass a few more folks here when the trail opened up and started climbing.

After about 3.5 miles, I hit the first rest stop. It took me 42 minutes (12 minute miles, or 5 mph). I can usually run 3.1 miles in about 23 minutes. This was going to be a long day! I grabbed some food, filled up my water, shed some clothes and saw Brian bypass the rest stop…..

Lucky for me the trail started climbing again and I was able to catch up to Brian and run with him for a bit. Naqi was just a bit behind us. We walked, ran and hiked our way up to an overlook, then ascended some stairs up to a high point. From there we circled the top of the mountain, then started heading back down.

I had lost sight of Brian and Naqi and settled into a good pace with a few other runners. The trail smoothed out and was not so steep so I picked up my speed. I walked when I needed to and ran when I could, trying to keep on the heels of the runner in front of me.

The next few miles are a blur to me. Running these trails takes more mental focus than the most challenging mountain bike trail. I recall a gorgeous overlook where the clouds were well below me. That’s a sight usually seen from an airplane, not a foot race.

Fast forward to the mile 11 rest stop. At this stop I loaded up on calories, a little water and took a few minutes standing break. The next section of trail cut directly up the mountain. It’s in an area that looks like it should have a ski lift! I walked this section as fast as I could, then ascended more to a peak. From here it was a steep rocky drop then went on and on (a.k.a.trail 301.)

I’ve bike it plenty of times and it’s very easy to make good time on this downhill on a bike. Running it is a different story. Every step pounded my quads and rattled my body. I could have easily run up this faster than down it. Still, I had to make my way to the bottom as quickly as I could as it’s still a race.

After the toughest mile and half I made it to the next rest stop. Here I loaded up my water and ate as much as I could. It would be six miles to the next rest stop, then eight miles to go to the finish. I saw Naqi running down the trail and close behind him was Brian. I hadn’t seen these guys since about mile four! We chatted for a bit then I took off about a minute before them. They had caught up quickly then the trail turned up again. I was able to put some distance on them and took turns pacing with another runner. That only lasted so long as she was stronger than me and was able to run when I had to walk.

Along the way a few other runners caught up to me and we paced each other as best we could. We eventually hit a series of steep switchbacks that offer amazing views of multiple water falls, breaking out of the side of the mountain. This one of the few sections I was glad that it was a foot race and not a bike race. After climbing we had a short downhill to the rest stop at mile 18. Here I saw an older man that was talking about his race at Leadville. This is a 100 mile mountain bike race that STARTS at 10,000 feet. His story gave me the motivation I needed to push on. I left some of the runners I was pacing and started the downhill that would give back much of the climbing I just completed.

I ran this next four miles mostly by myself. Thankfully I had my music to keep me company. These miles seemed to go by quickly and I found myself at the rest stop at mile 22. I only had about five more miles to go! A volunteer told me I looked great for having run 22 miles. I told her that this was my first marathon and I was dedicating it to my daughter. She asked how much I trained and I told her that I did about 30 miles in the past week, but the few weeks before I was in the hospital with a very sick daughter. She asked if my daughter was ok and I said that she is home and she survived.

I thanked God for helping heal Norah and found a renewed energy to run hard for the next few miles. My pacing buddies never caught me. The pain of the downhills and difficulty of the uphills disappeared as I thought of Norah. She survived because she is strong. These thoughts were like rocket fuel as I blazed through the next mile.

I cruised past the next rest stop and started climbing again. I knew that a big downhill was coming, and I had to walk portions of this section.Then I hit the top of the monster climb I had gone up at mile 11. Going down this should be easy….

It wasn’t.

The pain in my feet and legs made it difficult to get down to the bottom. I constantly looked back to see if any other runners were approaching me, when I saw a very fit and tall man at the top, howling down to the onlookers at the bottom. I only had about two miles to go. Could I stay ahead of him?

As I made my way down this near cliff, he got closer….and closer….then he passed me near the bottom. This portion of the course hits a low at a creek, and then rises for just a bit where it hits the same rest stop that was at mile 11. I used this small rise to pass this fellow runner and run over to the next turn.

I asked if he wanted to pass me, but he told me to go on. Here we got back on the lake trail and had about a mile to go. This guy was six inches taller than me and could surely pass me, or so I though. I gave it everything I had and ran this mile with everything I had. I turned back and did not see him!

I sprinted on through the finish, about six and a half hours after I started, and completed my first ULTRA-Marathon. Yes, since it was 27.2 miles I can officially call in an Ultra-Marathon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultramarathon)! Soon enough Naqi and Brian crossed the finish line.

The elevation gain was almost 6,000 feet. The elevation loss is also 6,000 feet. I've copied the scaled profile from the Boston Marathon under the profile for the MMM. Apparently there is a section called "Heartbreak Hill" on the Boston Marathon. It rises 80 feet over 4/10s of a mile. We had sections that rose 360 feet in less distance.

hopscotch and tea

Over a week out of the PICU now and my sweet Norah is doing well. We are continuing her QVAR treatments twice daily but she is getting no other medicines and I am proud to say that after the mass quantities and various types she needed at the hospital.

We took a trip back to the PICU At CHOA yesterday to drop off a few things we took home accidentally and some donations. Norah could not come in with me but she asked questions about it and told me she did not like the PICU. I told her that the hospital made her better (errr saved her life) and that we never want to go back there but occasionally we would be making contributions to the little kids who have nothing and have to go back there all of the time.

Norah’s Auntie shared a similar story about another little girl who also went into he PICU because of complications from the Swine Flu. I broke down into tears when I saw this article. There were times when I wanted to blame her doctor for not treating her w Tamiflu early enough or getting her onto the respirator early enough or claim the CDC is holding out on us but the bottom line is this is a basted of an illness, disease, and flu and is nothing to be reckoned with. If you have a little one and they have not had a Class A or the Class B flu yet this fall, get them vaccinated.

We had our first (child) visitor over the weekend and it was great for Norah. She got to play, play, and play. Norah’s visiting friend Selah made her a hopscotch board on our driveway and I was delighted to see Norah hopping through it. Hopping is difficult and when it isn’t raining I will this game as therapy for her legs. I can use it to burn a few calories myself!

Tonight Norah joined me for a cup of tea while we worked on thank you cards. We are so blessed for such an amazing group of family and friends, thank you all for your continued well wishes and prayers for Norah’s continued recovery!

Next week Norah’s Grands are coming to visit from FL when she will go back to school and they will pick her up so she can rest and not have to go to the after school program. We are so blessed that she grandparents who all are willing to be in ATL in a moments notice for her. Thank you God for all of your blessings!

jumping on the bed

So today was a marathon day of walking for Norah. We were in and out of the car 4-5 times and then she passed out hard for a late afternoon nap.

Tonight she asked to jump on the bed. We usually let her as long as we are lying on the bed while she is jumping. Well tonight was an eye opener for her. She tried to jump and got scared because nothing she could not leap or bounce like she once used too. Nevertheless she continued to try for around 32 minutes and then gave up exhausted. I told her we would go again tomorrow and day-by-day her jumping would get better and better. Such a sweetie!

check up

Norah had her first (post hospital stay) check up today and the doctor was pleased with her results. We did not have to get new x-rays nor a check-up by a pulmonologist. Norah will go back to see Dr. Long (her primary pediatrician whom also treated her in the hospital alongside the ICU doctors and Pulmonologist) in another couple of weeks when her lungs heal a little more. At that time she will have a pulmonary (lung) function test to evaluate how well her lungs are working. The tests determine how much air your lungs can hold, how quickly you can move air in and out of your lungs, and how well your lungs put oxygen into and remove carbon dioxide from your blood. The tests can diagnose lung diseases; measure the severity of lung problems, and check to see how well treatment for a lung disease is working.

Once available her doctor would also like for her to go back for the Swine flu shot. Although they think she immune to it and will not give her the live (inhalable) vaccine they would like for her to have it. She was tested positive for the Class A flu but it was never confirmed that she has the Swine flu. Her samples are in the system but we are not sure if the CDC will test them.

Norah has had the Class B flu shot since she was born and I do not think she has ever had the flu until this year after she got the Class B flu shot but before the Class A flu shot was available. One of the nurses at the doctor’s office told me today that in her 22 years as a nurse she has never seen a flood of flu cases like the Class A 9 (H1NI /Swine Flu.) Generally Class B influenza does not start until November and December. My hope is that the Class A vaccine will be built into the Class B vaccine and Norah will be able to get it in late August like she normally does. Now time for Mom to go and get vaccinated! xoxo

progress

More eating, drinking, and sleeping and starting last night a lot more walking. Norah isn’t keen on walking around our hilly neighborhood but Chris managed to get her out to the nature trails and I started taking her on some errands and she is walking a lot from the car and back. She is wiped out tonight and I am glad for it. Although her legs look like toothpicks, she has gained a pound back and her walking is a lot more stable.

I have been hesitant to let her play with other children because her doctor does not want her caching a cold and would like her to stay away from other kids for at least a week since last Sunday however it is hard for her because she misses kids her age. Today her teachers stopped by and that put her in a great mood for the rest of the night. They dropped off some classwork, which she jumped on as soon as they left and then told me she can’t wait to get back to school.

Tomorrow we have our first check up with Norah’s pediatrician and I will ask him to refer us to a pulmonary specialist. I want to have one on hand should a cough accompany a cold this winter. The problem with her flu and pneumonia was that is was viral and unstoppable so I want to get more information about lungs, colds, and etc. Although it will be a few years before her lungs will fully heal, we have access to good medication which should reduce inflammation should she get a cold.

We are also practicing better hand washing, lots of friction and not touching our faces. Not easy for anyone! I missed the free flu shot offered at my company this week but will go out to get it elsewhere, I do not want to get sick and expose her no matter if she’s been vaccinated or is immune now, the viral stuff is a monster. Thank God she made it through though!

reflecting but moving forward

Norah’s second full day at home was a good one. She is talking a lot easier now, has a hearty appetite, and is generally happy throughout the day. We did not walk as much as I wanted her too but we will work on that more throughout the week.

She is still confused as to why her legs are wobbly and her feet are sore. How do you explain to a 5 year old they were in a hospital bed paralyzed for 9 days? Ugh. But as I mentioned yesterday her doctor’s said she is doing very well considering where she was last week and most kids would be in rehabilitation for another 1-2 weeks once they are independent from oxygen. I am just so glad she is home, resting and eating well.

Although I was strong for the last three plus weeks, getting to sleep is hard for me now. I lie awake reflecting on the past month thinking about the hours she suffered, when she couldn’t breath, and the label on her hospital file "Respiratory Failure" and I fall apart! Time to refocus that energy on getting her stronger which will make keep me me strong.

Norah is a fair weather kid. She doesn’t like it too hot or too cold so I am going to take advantage of the weather and get her outside more. We went out today but she didn’t want to get out of the stroller. May be tomorrow I will pretend that it doesn’t roll anymore and we have to walk home. No pressure Sweetie!

Thank you friends and family for your wonderful Welcome Home messages, cards, and generosity towards our family. We are so blessed that God is carrying us through her recovery and that you all have contributed towards our strength to help her get well. Many, many, hugs and kisses to you! xoxo

eating, sleeping, walking, and talking

We have been home over 24 hours now and Norah is doing well. She didn't get to bed until late last night and we did have to check on her a 1/2 dozen times when she woke up but she did sleep late and then napped for a long time today as well. She didn't get enough sleep her last few days in the hospital because nurses were in and out of her room all day and night. In addition her the various medications also kept her awake. I am thrilled she is at home for uninterrupted sleep.

Norah's Granddad and Grandy went back to FL this morning. They spent 2 weeks with us through all of the highs and lows and we were sad to see them go. We took Norah to Goldberg's for a bagel breakfast where we were happy to see her eating. She continued to eat and drink throughout the day and are delighted seeing as she lost over 5 lbs over the past 3 weeks.

She is making progress with walking and talking although both (especially walking) wear her out quickly. She tells me, "My legs hurt" and "I ran out of breath Mommy." It breaks my heart to hear this and I tell her that it will take some time to rebuild her muscle and strength. So we will take the next 10+ days and do just that. We will visit the doctor a lot and hope that her lungs show lots of improvement each time we go.

Thank you again friends and family for your support and cheers around her homecoming. We have been blessed beyond belief w this medical miracle. love, B

home to heal

I jogged back to the hospital today (Dad was on duty last night) and was bummed thinking we would need to stay in the hospital another night. I arrived and then within 10 minutes Dr. Long showed up. He asked several questions, gave us prescriptions and health warnings, and then discharged us. We were back home less than 90 minutes later.

Norah was much more relaxed and happy to be home. She is still weak and moody due to the different drugs wearing off and then the ones she is taking but smiled a lot more and is resting easier. We picked up the remainder of her Methadone, Albuterol treatments for just in case, and then QVAR which she will be taking thru the winter. This drug is a steroid used for respiratory problems and will help her if and when she catches a cold and with it shouldn't have to use Albuterol much if at all.

Her lungs will take around 2-3 years to heal and she will be more susceptible to colds and respiratory illnesses for quite a while. Over the next month she is required to see her Pediatrician once weekly and she needs a lot of rest to get stronger. Of course I am going to be paranoid to send her back to school in a few weeks but now know (better) what to do if and when she gets sick.

We are so grateful to her grandparents who have helped us out during this time. The house and especially her room and spotless and cozy which was comforting for her to come home too. Day by day I will log her progress for reports to the doctor. I even bought a pulse oximeter to record her blood oxygen levels while she is healing! Although it is going to take time for her lungs to heal, we have trust in God she will recover and he will protect her while we get there. Her doctor is as perplexed by her speedy recovery as he was at her illness.

I was so glad to leave the hospital but miss our ICU nurses, they were like my family while we lived there. I look forward to following up with them and Norah’s progress but hope to never, ever go back for anything else!

Thank YOU ALL for your continued prayers and your time, kind words, and positive thinking. The Internet has been an incredible tool towards Norah’s healing and our sanity and I want to thank you for keeping us in mind when you are online. Hugs and kisses to everyone, we hope to see you soon. Check back when you can for more healing updates, I look forward to posting Norah’s recovery as much as possible!

therapy

After a sleepless night and then a napless day we were told we could not go home tonight and may be not tomorrow. Norah has to be off of the nasal canual for 24 hours followed by more observation before we get are discharged. Sigh… Her Ped also suggested we get out of the room for fresh air and to get Norah’s legs moving. I would have done that earlier had we been able too!

The nurse got orders to unhook Norah from her IV (leaving the PICC line in) and she and I went for a walk. The facility is beautiful and the weather gorgeous. I got her outside and although her legs are a little wobbly she did pretty good. She is totally distraught about not being able to go home and did not enjoy the walk. Nevertheless, we will work to get her walking and then monitor her breathing, and then give her doctor results as soon as we can tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

I mentioned yesterday our room is in proximity to the helipad. I got some shots of a patient being dropped off. Oh how I felt for that parent, so scary. I hope the child is okay!

missing home

As of 4:00 am Norah is breathing on her own and her pulse oxygen is reading between 98-100 most of the day and I am very excited about that. When we got to the hospital over 2 weeks ago it was reading at 97 and by the time she got to the PICU it was around 87 w 100% oxygen flow.

She is also eating and drinking more and in addition to her nasal canula we were able to remove her arterial line and the heart rate, blood pressure, and other readers stuck around her body. Left is the PICC line pushing fluids and Zantac for her tummy. I am going to ask for it to be removed and the Methadone she is taking spaced out farther or cut out all together because it wires her and she wants to sleep. Finally I am going to ask for us to be able to go home! I expected to see the doctor early this am but I am sure he is treating more critical patients first. I know that once we get home Norah will bounce back even quicker as the hospital has become gloomy and boring for her in just the two days she’s been off the vent. I tell her, “Imagine how I feel kid!” So I am keeping my fingers crossed!

I am reading Norah all of the special messages she has received over the past week and a half without trying to confuse her. She received some cool gifts today, which we have been playing with while trying to pass the time. This section of the hospital is equipped with an awesome toy room but I am hesitate to get her out into the ward with so many sick kids cause we’ve been there, done that!